Alone in the Dark
by forgetcanon
Summary: "Protect the Republic," Bastila spat. Carth's small room seemed tiny, with the way she expanded with rage. "Keep it strong! I love you, you're the best chance we have!" She threw the datapad across the room. - Carth and Bastila wait. The hardest part is not knowing.


"Protect the Republic," Bastila spat. Carth's small room seemed tiny, with the way she expanded with rage. "Keep it strong! I love you, you're the best chance we have!" She threw the datapad across the room. It skidded across the kitchen table, stopping just shy of the wall.

Carth watched her warily. It had been a year and a half since her foray into the dark side, and moments like these were always eerie reminders of how easy it would be for Bastila to slip.

It was easier to worry about Bastila. It was easier to think about Vasha leaving Bastila behind than it was to remember that she'd left him, too. It was much, much easier to remember that Bastila was in pain than it was to consider his own.

Besides, he'd been left behind once. Bastila was new to this.

"You're not winning any points for being outraged," Carth said, conveniently not mentioning how he nearly broke Vasha's datapad when he read the message she left for him.

"You're right," she said, and took a deep breath. "You're right. Forgive me. This is… unproductive." Despite her words, she began pacing.

"Did she tell you anything?" Carth asked. "I know she was having nightmares, but…"

Bastila shook her head. "No, nothing useful. Our bond is- it isn't severed. I know she's alive. But she's completely blocked me out." She shook her head, muttering, "Protect the Republic."

In the old days, on the Ebon Hawk, Vasha had nightmares. Carth would wake up in the morning and she'd have been up for hours, working on the droids or practicing lightsaber forms. It calmed her, to tell him about the twisted, fragmented things she saw.

Everyone had assumed it was the byproduct of constant battle, a creative mind, and the pressure she was under. Afterwards, the dreams of jungles filled with beasts, glass cities shattering, and people trying to scream in the vacuum of space were easy to connect to the very real battles she'd championed.

But she'd always told him about them. "Two minds are better than one," she'd joked. "Maybe one day we'll put together this puzzle."

Until she suddenly stopped telling him, and vanished a month later.

Carth didn't want to ask, but he had to know. Vasha had vanished into the darkness. It would only be bearable if they had some idea of why, or what for. "What do you think she's doing?"

Bastila shook her head. "I'm not sure. The Star Forge produced new ships, but Revan's original fleet disappeared into the unknown regions. I can only assume that's where she went. But beyond that…. we simply can't tell."

The two of them stood in silence. Bastila was pale. She crossed her arms, the way she always did when desperately trying to hide how she felt.

"She'll come back," Carth said quietly.

"She did before," Bastila murmured. "And we all remember how that turned out."

A ball of ice collected in Carth's gut. He hadn't considered that angle. "Do you think-"

Bastila shook her head. "I don't know. I can't know. Before she returned to conquer the galaxy, Revan was… She'd always been cunning and efficient. It's possible that she had always been susceptible to the dark side."

"Or it's possible that something out there turned her. And that she's going to find it again."

Vasha, returning at the head of another fleet, to finish the shredding Revan began. Vasha, always so quick to help and defend, but just as quick to cry or rage or kill. Vasha, alone in the darkness.

Carth pulled out a chair and sat. His hands shook. He reached for something to hold, and found himself looking at Vasha's datapad.

"Fuck," he swore.

"My thoughts exactly," Bastila said, and sat opposite him. She set her elbows on the table and buried her face in her hands.

Bastila's shoulders shook. When she spoke her voice was muffled. "We gain nothing by worrying."

"We're not exactly going to be able to stop."

Carth focused on Bastila. Comforting her and riddling out their next steps distracted him from his terror and helped stifle the tiny voice that whispered, 'She could be in pain and you will never know. She could die, alone in the dark, calling for you. She could turn, she could fall, and you won't be there to protect her, like you promised.'


End file.
